Monday, December 20, 2010

Thinking, thinking, thinking.

I hate when I'm really tired but I've got like three hundred things floating around in my head. I have this best friend who's always saying he's "thinking" - which always means he's about to explode with what kinds of things are going on in his head.
Now I know how it feels.
I'll cut him a little slack next time.
I've got 3 main things in my head:
1. Summer
2. This next semester
3. Future
One: This last summer I stayed with my parents and lifeguarded. Yes, that may sound fun and good way to get a tan (which it is..) but I was miserable. I don't think I've ever been completely and utterly miserable in my whole life. Do not get me wrong, I've got the most wonderful life anyone could ever have - I'm quite blessed - but spending 6+ hours at a pool and then coming home to do pretty much nothing, that's miserable. I've become a very anti-social person recently..and maybe it's because of spending most of my time alone this summer has added to that. But it wasn't fun. Parts were great, of course - there's always going to be sunny spots in life - but it's definitely something I don't want to do again.
So..that leaves me with a task of finding something else to do.
And that's kind of a bigger hand of cards than I wanted.
The way I've layed out my schedule leaves me with taking two classes over the summer - which in turn, takes out any opportunity to intern or do anything amazing.
That leaves me with having to find a place and a job.
Any ideas?
Two: This next semester is going to kick my butt. End of story.
Four classes that are going to be challenging and possibly five. Dontcha wish you could switch schedules? Ha, but I like being busy. That's something I've figured out about myself recently (like the anti-social thing) and I'm NOT looking forward to homework, but it'll give me something to do while everyone else I know is busy with homework.
Kidding mom and dad.
But being busy will force me to be a better student. To work harder than ever for classes I chose. I always forget that part - I chose this.
That makes it sound totally fair, even when I don't think it is.
Prayers are welcome for my next semester.
And three: my future.
A, one of my best friends, and I have recently been talking about how much we're ready to move on from our cozy little Baptist school and into the real world.
To be honest, part of me is completely ready and part of me is scared like hell. (Excuse my French) I've got like three hundred different future occupations that I'm considering, but it also feels like I'm not cut out or even passionate about any of them.
But I'm supposed to be in school right now - and when I'm completely ready - He'll give me passion, right?
If God would let me in on this whole business, I'd be a happy camper. But I guess not knowing what I'm supposed to do is part of His way of making me totally rely on Him. God's funny like that.
Oh life..I wont ever understand you, but I'm ready for you.


1 comment:

  1. Hang in there Cait! I can't wait for us to talk about all the trillions of things floating around in our heads! (my mind is ALWAYS racing) Just a few more days and we will spend lots of time together!-And I just love that picture of you and your dad :)